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ALL ABOUT SEX ;-)

Someone said that a motorbike ride is the most exciting thing you might do while wearing your clothes. On the basis of this saying we may conclude that sex is the most exciting thing you may experience without your clothes on (although it is not absolutely necessary to take your clothes off before).

It is, however, absolutely necessary to do it together with someone else. This is the reason of all this mess with looking for a partner. Don’t give up, though - members of the opposite sex are also looking for someone. Perhaps they are looking for you?

You are sometimes attracted to a stranger, of whom you tend to wonder - well, fine, but who is that? You look at their clothes (whether they are clean and neat), at their hair, their hands. You watch their behavior, the gestures they make, the face expressions; you listen to their voice, their language, etc. You sometimes pay attention to their company, which gives you some idea about this stranger’s social position in a group, of which you also are a part. You evaluate all these aspects within the first two or three seconds of your first encounter, and you remember your first impressions for a very long time, sometimes forever. Remember that you will also be automatically ‘scanned’ in the same way by other people. If the impressions are positive on both sides, the ‘visual game’ begins. You begin to look at each other discreetly, notice other details. If the situation still seems okay, you begin to look for visual contact. At some point, you will look into each other’s eyes. This first look will be short, but if you are still positive about each other - it will be repeated for longer periods. Your heart will probably beat very strong, your head will reel, and you will feel that something new, exciting and exceptional is just beginning. In our society, men are the active members of such interactions, so they usually take over the initiative of beginning a closer relationship. Surely, if you smile at the other person, your attitude towards closer contact will be considered positive. So don’t be afraid to smile whenever you want to meet someone new or to engage in an ‘old’ relationship. Try to smile even when you are talking on the telephone - the person on the other end of the line will hear this. The next step in the flirting procedure is reducing the distance. In our society, the distance of about 50 cm is considered personal or intimate. In order to talk to someone, you have to stay somewhere around the edge of this zone. The easiest way to start a conversation with a stranger is to say something. But remember - do not be offensive. You can say good morning, hi, hello, etc., depending on the social status of the person you are talking to. If you get a friendly reply, your chances are probably good. If you get a polite reply, it should be understood as a question about who you are. In other cases you should not get involved - you and the other person are probably not currently attractive for each other. Dancing is a very good way to reduce the distance, but be careful not to use force. If you scare your ‘victim’ away, they will flee and all will be lost. If the conversation continues, this is a positive sign. Do not try to force any topics for conversation. If you don’t behave in a spontaneous way, the potential partner may be drawn aside. Do not hesitate to speak about your feelings - everybody has them. Try to be sincere, even when you talk about your weak points. This will prove your strength, self-awareness and self-confidence. The next stage involves touching. Small gestures, like touching hands, arms and other ‘neutral’ body parts interfere into the intimate zone of the other person. This stage may be reached even at a first meeting, but it may also be reached not sooner than after a few weeks or months. Good opportunities for such gestures include greeting, handing a coat, etc. Such careful gestures made by a man and the woman’s acceptance of these gestures reduce the distance between the partners and help to make the relationship closer. Of course you should be able to differentiate between standard, commonly acceptable behaviors and definite positive signs. When you are both willing to continue your relationship (time is a good indicator of whether it has been a temporary desire and sexual drive with anyone or a good match of genes and personalities, with good perspectives for the future), the next stage follows - when the distance between you is reduced to zero. You sit next to each other, leaning on each other. Sometimes you whisper. The man holds a woman tenderly, gives her a hand, etc. The woman moves closer to the man, touches him, puts her hands on his chest or arms. You can feel each other’s smell (perfume, sweat, pheromones). It is a delicate matter - but remember that a regular shower and basic hygienic activities are more important than luxury perfume. Time passes. Finally, extraordinary phenomena begin. Touching more intimate body parts - waist, hips, thighs, etc. The level of adrenalin increases nearly twice. You can feel your partner’s body shape, temperature, hardness with your hands. Receptors on your skin give you the information whether the touch of the hands is pleasant for you. All these things may happen over time or during a single date, party, dinner, disco, etc. Then, the first kiss follows, you begin more intensive caresses, you touch each other’s head, neck (it is common among animals that females reveal their necks as a sign of obedience to the male). At last, you take off your partner’s clothes. The amount of hormones in the air is so high that there is a danger of storm. Next, erection appears, and next... let it remain a secret between these two people. Everyone can make up their own story, which they consider best, and experiment on it (obviously within limits that are acceptable for a partner and from a social point of view).

Satisfactory sexual life may be a great extension of two persons’ relationships. But what does ‘satisfactory sexual life’ mean? Frequent orgasm in short time? Long sexual act? These are the most evident aspects, which some people consider crucial for a happy sexual life. But it is often the case that the most important things are not visible at first. Sex constitutes a strong element of our self-esteem. But if you are not currently in bed with someone, it does not mean you are worthless. And if you are having sex at the moment, it does not make you more respectable or attractive for the whole world - although you may sometimes feel this way. Sexual impressions are strong and pleasant, so it is very easy to get accustomed to them and to exceed certain limits. Therefore remember that all such experiences remain somewhere in your mind and you will remember them forever, consciously or not. If your sexual experiences do not correspond with your true self, you will probably not be satisfied with them. Perhaps you need more acceptance and self-confidence, not more sex? This may be a vicious circle. And you have to bear in mind that whoever you are - you are a valuable person, different than other people, exceptional, not better and not worse. Beware of alcohol or drugs. Never engage in sexual activity while you are drunk or when you have taken some drugs. If you do so, you may unconsciously develop a conditional response - as a result, if your sexual needs are not fulfilled for any reason (lack of a partner, wrong partner, temporary crisis in your relationship, etc.), you will try to use this ‘additional’ element that you subconsciously associate with sexual fulfillment. When you do it once, you may keep doing it over and over - and then you will lose everything that is valuable in your life. You will begin a desperate quest for acceptance, you will drink more and more or you will try to pay for ‘love’ connected with drinking... The next stage is familiar to psychotherapists, addiction therapists, psychiatrists. Don’t do that. You need more variety in your sexual relation with your Partner? Make up new variants and options, positive for you and for your Partner. Striptease for your husband? - why not! it may be very exciting for your body and mind (no, this is not a Red Bull advertisement). Exciting music, new places (e.g. staircase, beach at night), exciting lingerie, always connected with tenderness and care about your partner’s satisfaction. Without unnecessary criticism or laughing at your partner’s reactions. Remember that movies and books are not the same as real people - only real people will stay with you for the good times and the bad times. You should really care for that - as you want your partner to care for you, don’t you?
 


 
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